& the blissful tones bounce off the wall & fall to the ground.

there are powerlines in our bloodlines.
03.17.2006 | 2:27 pm

i'm sick. i don't know if i mentioned that or not the last time i wrote, but i have a flu-type illness. my fever FINALLY broke, but i still feel crappy.

i went to the doctor today. i've lost 4 pounds. :( i also got yelled at for not being able to stomache the glucose drinks. WTF? i can't control that. trust me, i've tried. they're sending me to a diabetes education class & i have to keep a record of everything i eat/drink for the next two weeks. i'm only allowed ONE soda per day.

i don't like the doctor very much either. she acted like it was MY fault i wasn't gaining weight & after looking over my charts & asking me a few questions got a little too personal, for my taste. examples of questions she asked:

Doctor: So, you're 17?
Miranda: Yes.
Doctor: Mhm. Still in school? Graduated? Or G.E.D.?
Miranda: Ummm ... Neither. I haven't gotten my G.E.D., yet.
Doctor: Uh huh. Do I need to go get the information on it for you?
Miranda: ...No. I've already looked into it. I just haven't had the opportunity.
Doctor: There's ALWAYS an opportunity.

& then she insulted my family income & snooped into my relationship.

the relationship thing wasn't SO bad, because i can understand her concern in wanting me & the baby to be healthy, but the income thing pissed me off.

it basically went:

Doctor: How do you eat?
Miranda: I try to healthy when I can. I can't cook, so unless someone else does it, I try to eat a healthy snack or sandwich or something.
Doctor: Do you eat a lot of junk food?
Miranda: Hmm ... Sometimes. I eat a lot of fries. (laughs)
Doctor: Uh huh. So ... Do you eat the junk food because you can't afford anything else ...?
Miranda: (with dumbfounded expression & medium pause) ...No. I usually eat it out of convenience & because I don't always feel like fixing something.
Doctor: Well, if you can afford good food - Buy it. You don't need to eat chips & bons bons.

& i don't eat chips & bons bons. not daily, anyway. i usually eat a cheese & peanut butter sandwich. or a microwaveable meal with vegetables & such. i don't even eat THAT much junk food. maybe a cookie or piece of chocolate here & there. she said i needed to analyze every bite of food i put into my mouth. i thought that was a bit bizarre. i think the way i'm eating now could be healthier, but it's healthier than some of the other pregnant ladies i've talked to have been eating. i drink TONS of water & drink milk at least one (sometimes twice) a day. i don't even like half the stuff i eat, but i do it for the baby ... & then i have some whacked out ob/gyn, who thinks she's a psychiatrist, telling me i'm not doing enough. the other doctor encouraged me to eat pretty much whatever i wanted just to gain a few extra pounds. i do not understand.

enough about that, though. i've ranted enough.

jesse bought me things for my birthday. it's not until tuesday, but you know how guys are ... they can't let anything wait. anyway, he bought me the sims2, which he knows i love & a giant froggie pillow. i love the pillow. it elevates my footsies every night. :)

i hate shopping for my great uncle/neighbor. i buy the same things for him EVERY week. grits. oatmeal. eggs. butter. bacon. juice. & 4 cans of beef & vegetable stew. i wish my grocery list could be that regulated. that sounds weird. like a fiber caplet commercial.

jesse's off this weekend & as much as i don't want to do anything, i do. i feel ill & would much rather lie in bed, sleeping, than anything else. i want to spend a little quality time with him. like a picnic or a walk down the street. something we can do alone. ALONE. we could go out to eat for my birthday, but i would have to write it down. :/

that will irk me for the rest of the day.

when i get well & the weather warms a bit, i think i might try to tan for a few minutes a day. i don't want to stay out too long & get that dirty brown color. i just want some flush in my cheeks, you know? you don't, probably. i'm VERY pale & like it that way, but i like a splash of color in the summertime. just a smidget. & fake tans are either too dark or too splotchy. & i don' like fake things. hair. tans. eyelashes. nails. mine are all real. except the tan that i don't have.

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