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barefoot & boring, yet beautiful
03.02.2006 | 2:41 pm wow. it's been a LONG time since i've been around here, eh? i doubt anybody still reads this at all. if you do, i guess, you could leave a note. a diaryland friend might be nice for a change. i've mostly been sleepin' around with xanga, though. i don't think i like it so much these days. the people who read it are mostly the people you know ... & i don't want the people i know, knowing things about me! god no! anyway, i shall go on about what i've been up to since i last updated. surely i wasn't doing much of anything - maybe dating a bunch of stupid boys, going through the famously infamous teenage drug fiasco, & dying my hair too much. i imagine that was the epitome of my days back then. & that was all fun, i won't lie, minus some of the drug binges, but things have certainly changed a lot - for the better i'd say. of course, i couldn't possibly move on without trials & tribulations. that would be too fair to me. soo ... i'm currently about 6 months pregnant. bah da bah! i'm sick moat of the time. morning sickness, they call it. i HATE that. it's hard for me to gain weight. i was losing, but i've been taking medicine for the nausea, so i've gained a bit. i probably have gestational diabetes, but i can't keep the liquid glucose down long enough for them to run the test. they draw a tube of blood, i drink the juice, wait 30 (give or take) minutes & puke. the baby is developing well & according to the ultrasound, they think we're having a girl! we (by we, i mean me) decided on the name: Lily Guinevere - if it's a girl. i like lilies & guinevere, minus the 'fair maiden' meaning, is a reference to a DCFC song that i've loved since the day i heard it & will probably apply to my life a lot more than it ever did before. if it happens to be a boy, we don't really have an ideal name, yet. he wants to name him: Granthan Phinneus. i don't. he REALLY likes the granthan, so i made my peace with that, but i prefer either: William Granthan OR Granthan Oliver. phinneus makes me think of nast fish & pirates. or roman warriors chopping each other's heads off. NO PHINNEUS. a friend of mine, charlotte suggested a name i kind of like. Acceptance. BUT, i doubt that will fly with the guy or anyone else who thinks they have a say in the naming of our baby. also, he (JESSE - surely i mentioned him in the past) is living with me now. he has been for about 7 or 8 months. it's nice that we're together through this, i think. he's very supportive & does little things to help out. he's working in a chicken processing plant. it smells. & is very hard work to him. i wish he didn't have to do it, honestly. but we do need money very desperately. i know it may sound weird or stupid, but the fact that he does it every day & comes hme with his fingers almost bleeding (& sometimes ACTUALLY bleeding) makes me love him even more. normally, i would be disgusted by the bloody, callused hands he sports, but knowing they're that way so he can take care of me & our little family makes them the most beautiful hands i've ever seen. we're engaged, as well. a little over a month, i believe. (i'm horrible at dates!) i picked out the ring & his parents bought it. we owe them a lot. of money. i should be planning the wedding soon if we're to wed before the baby is bon, but i don't know if that's what 'we're doing' or not. i haven't really talked about it with him. i don't mind. i just don't want things to change drastically & go wrong & end up divorced. i have a strong opinion on MY divorce. being, i plan to never get one. my marriage & life will work out accordingly because i'm a good person. humor me, okay? that's mostly all i've been doing, besides watching TV, eating, playing RE4, & complaining that i can't wear most of my clothes. my belly grows, but the scales don't change. i understand it, but i don't like it. i probably have more to say, in fact, i know i do, but for now i have other things to do. a shower is in order, i do say! & a short stroll around the yard with jesse when he comes home. :) |
