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who the fuck is matthew?
02.03.2005 | 9:02 pm i'm bored & semi-sleepy. i'm always semi-sleepy, no matter how much i sleep. last night i exaggerated my level of tiredness to get off the phone with damian. i'm a bitch. but i'm a nice one. my cat sits outside & meows non-fucking-stop. do you have any clue how annoying that is? every day, every night, every hour! goddamn cat. i love it & i love kitties, dearly, but kitty is gonna die! i cleaned my room & rearranged things. it looks so gooood. i took all the posters & flyers off about 2 weeks ago, because of "the move", which i'm starting to think is NEVER going to happen. i want it to, but then again, i don't. i've become accustomed to living here, in this house, with this mess & problems. if you take that away, i'm just bored again. heather won' take my phone calls. what the fuck did i do to her, man? if i recall correctly, last time we talked i wasn't especially mean to her or anything, so maybe she just decided that i wasn't good for her. aw well. good decision on her part, i suppose. he should be coming down here sometime soon. i hope. i hope a lot. hoping never got anything done. i'm getting a job. wee! hopefully at feldman's, where i get to sit behind a counter & charge expensive clothes to people's credit cards. i like clothes, i like people, & i like sitting on my ass doing nothing, so it seemed like an appropriate job for me. i'm applying in a week or so. mum said she would buy me a car once we sold this place, which is grand, but BULLSHIT! she also mentioned "paying my through college", which i refused. i kind of want to try to handle the responsibilities of everything on my own, you know? i don't want them shoving money down my throat because they think they're bad parents. that's bullshit on a completely different level. i also told her that i was dropping out, because if you factor in everything -- it's the logical thing to do. i waste two more years in school & then take the GED or drop out now & take it next year, while working & saving money for an apartment or whatever necessity i decide i need by then. i'll probably have to get two jobs, though. bummer. as for college, i'm not sure if i'm going. it would probably be in my best interest to go, but i know i would probably get bored & quit within a matter of weeks. in which case, i wasted my parens money & my time. if i do decide to go, i want to "study" cosmetology, because that's what i want to do. cut hair, do make-up, nails, the whole she-bang. i know, i know, it's shitty & not much, but i could be a really damn good business if i apply myself & work hard, which i plan on doing. my dad came home & thought i was screaming, but it was the damn cat, how weird is that? someone named matthew just called me. i don't know anyone named matthew. i'm curious. i'm calling them back to see who it is. matthew who? |
