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invitation to the exectution.
01.27.2005 | 5:49 pm mother says i've lost my mind. i have not, i beg to plead. i'm just ... fluctuating moods, is all. long story short, i got bored last night & opened all the cabinets in the house. mum woke up & freaked out, thinking someone had ransacked the house, when in fact, it was a masterpiece of my boredom. she laughed, then yelled. i just lay. i couldn't go back to sleep, so i watched a movie called the life of david gale, which is just another movie to fuck with my head. it did & did a grand job. i suggest everyone watch it & someone buy me the dvd. afterwards, i watched a really fucked up movie with robert downey jr, (my current studmuffin) & had weird thoughts. it ended & i got up to turn the alarm clock off & felt really fucking ill, but thought nothing of it. i came back, laid down, & asked a rhetorical , life-altering question & BOOM! - i got hit with what felt like a migraine headache, then nausea, then a sweat, which ended in me twitching & crying on the couch, while trying to rip my clothes off. i succeeded, to say the least. mum got a cold washcloth & offered tylenol, but i refused. i lay & cried & eventually fell asleep. i thought i was going to die. that was the most horrible feeling ever. i seriously mean -- EVER. i woke up & felt fine. almost better than ever, minus a backache from sleeping on the couch for 6 years. i took a pee & heard knocking on the door, which as usual, was joshua, who just barged in, anyway. i ran to my room & threw on some pants, pulled my hair back up, & went to see what was up. he had eric with him & he showed me all of his tattoos, but, alas, i did not have glasses, nor contacts, so they all looked like big, blurry, green, blobs to me. but i said they were pretty. mum thinks i should see a doctor. i think she should see a therapist. we both think the other is nuts. maybe insanity runs in my family. who knows? aw well. pointless. my fingernails are an atrocious puke, lime green color. & i don't remember painting them. gross & creepy. |
