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I'm about to see a million things I thought I'd never see before. I'm about to do all the things I dreamed of & I don't even miss you at all.
12.18.2004 | 9:57 am I had a load of nightmares last night. I slept during the darkest hours of the night as well, which is highly unusual for me. I slept none Thursday & went to work with my mom Friday. I tried to sleep at her office a bit & laid on the floor behind a desk, but I couldn't sleep. I just lay there & listened to my uncle berate me while he thought I was sleeping. Normally, I would have gotten up & told him all sorts of unkind words or split. But I was so goddamned tired, I just lay. & listened. The whole work ordeal ended badly. It was her last day & my last day to freely shop at the outlet store down the street, so I figured I might as well go. It was nice for about 10 minutes. Then my uncle got there & instantly made some comment about my hair. I ignored, because I'm a happy person at 9 a.m. Eventually, he got a little deeper than physical appearence. He was talking about illiteracy in MS & how the youth of today just weren't as smart as they were when he was growing up. In an attempt to prove his theory, he asks, "Miranda ... do you know your multiplication?" Of course, I said yeah. & he proceeded to ask me what 12 x's 12 was. I said 144. & He said I was wrong. I was like, "What the hell man? No, I'm not. & he says, "It's 144." & everyone in the office simultaneously yells, "That's what she said!" Then, oh goddamn, then the fucker asks me if I can write. I said with complete sarcasm, "No. I sadly, cannot write." & then we got into some argument about not respecting your elders & profanity. Another argument pursued after he asked what I wanted to do with my life after highschool, or homeschool, in my case. So, I told him - I was either a) going to travel around aimlessly & see the world or b) move to New York & study fashion & hopefully get a career as a designer. He said I had no talent, no potential, & no money. & he was oh, so sorry to crush my dreams, but there was no way that I was going to be able to do that, especially with my "education." What a fucking dick. With all that said, I refused to go to the family Christmas dinner. & still do, unless I take a friend & he isn't allowed to talk to me. I'll probably spend it eating dry turkey in the bedroom with my grandpa screaming everything I happen to say at least 4 times & him still not understanding me. Anyway, after all the dysfunctional family arguments at the office, I went to the outlet store. I bought two pairs of earrings, a ring, a black & white checkered dress, & some brown sequined shirt. Oh, & a Wilma Flintstone rock necklace & Brittany's X-mas present. I came home & lay down for about an hour until Damian called. I talked to him for a little while & then took 4 Unisom. I watched Degrassi & The Fresh Prince ... & fell asleep sometime after that. I woke up at around 7:45 a.m. & for the hell of remembering it, I had one of the creepiest nightmares ever. This guy made me stand up against a wall & they drilled nails through the wall, into me. I could feel it. The other one was kind of like a Buffy the Vampire Slayer-esque themed one where I fought this evil twin of mine, but instead of her being the evil person it was my own boyfriend & we burned him alive. Goddamn, the violence. I don't want to type anymore. & I stayed home & slept, uncomfortably, on a Friday night. - Dork. |
