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i loved you more than you could ever understand and i loved you more than you could ever love yourself. i bet it kills you now to know now that you've got no one to hold. you've been thinking about the girl you wish you weren't missing.
08.15.2004 | 12:29 am Ahhh!! Shoot me. Further details later. I think I should be murdered for not so obvious reasons that no one on this big green & blue globe would understand. I'm just a bad person, with a bad personality, & I trick people into thinking I'm this innocent, lovable, prick. I think I shall turn anti-social. Me - antisocial? Never. But ot would solve like, 97% of the problems in my life. Now for semi-details. Chris is mad at me, because I spent most of my night with James when it was supposed to be spent with him. James is a new character in this twisted plot, by the way. He got "upset" and told me I shouldn't converse with James, because he was probably trying to ruin our relationship, which is true. I, personally, liked James better. Even though he's the most opposite persons of me I've probably ever met - that's been attracted to me. And I know he's attracted to me ... how? Justin called and told me. The people in my life are so fucked up. My mom got the gossip on the way home & they were mocking me saying that my life was a soap opera. Wee. The Young & Confused. I have an aching head. And feelings like woah for god knows who & what. But I still dig Falon's sexy body. And it shall be a ritual to say that in every entry, because I'm gonna marry her. (Hence: Me telling Michael) He says "Hands off my kool-aid." You know what? I just wish everyone hated me. I wish everyone viewed me in Justin's perspective, because then the world be in it's proper alignment. I'm just overwhelmed with singleness & I'm taking advantage of it, but in a bad, raping it sort of way. Woe is me. I should be happy considering I have guys pracically throwing themselves at me, but I'm the total opposite. Man, I'm weird. And the bad thing is that I do NOTHING to initiate it. I just stand there. Men & their stupid raging hormones. I saw this skateboarder named Mitch that I thought resembled Justin in this odd way, so I made it a point to attract him. I would have suceeded had I not been like, almost 3 years older than him. And I'm telling you this .. why? I'm angry at James for brutalizing my pinkie finger with a baseball bat, but I'll probably still call him tomorrow. Dear christ, I'm turning into boy-hopping Shaunna. Cue the music maestro. |
