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I medicate my fears with more beers & more tears.
08.13.2004 | 11:43 pm You know what? I don't really care anymore & I feel really good about it. I am the most sane girl I know and this terrifies the hell out of me. If I'm the sanest person I know and I think I'm crazy I wonder what the other people in the world think? And for those of you out there laughing & pointing, screaming "You ... SANE?!?" Fuck you, darlings, because I've seen the world & it's overrated and I'm one of the grander people in it, believe it or not. I was supposed to spend this weekend with Christopher, but nope. Fate hates me. Damien got shipped to Florida to cut trees off of powerlines because of big, bad Charley storm. I'm beginning to hate Charley, he's ruining all my plans. But he'll be back next weekend and much fun will be had. I'm still going to the show tomorrow, so no big deal about that. I am utterly and thoroughly confused in like 8 different ways, but I've found the cure to confusion - drink yourself silly. Or sleep. Or waste your time with people who make you foget all your problems. And they all come flooding back since I' haven't been locked up alone in my house for almost a month. Poop. I am so angry. And you can laugh if you want, but almost every emotion I have eventually comes out as anger. Except love & lust. They come out like they're supposed to. And sometimes I doubt I was even in love, except when I see my smile in photographs. Then I know. I know I loved you & you never loved me back. I know I'm better off now and he's something I haven't had in a long, long time. You know ... at least you were right about one thing. I could do a lot better than you. Who's a bitch? I'm a bitch. But only if you fuck me over. I love that slutty MADTV lady. She makes my world a happier place. Is this going to fast? |
