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And this is about pretty songs. And this is about ugly lovers.
06.25.2004 | 3:57 am Sarah Beth compared me to the lovely (or not so lovely) Ashley chick from Degrassi. I asked why, but never got a reason. I found that odd, because Justin finds her "attractive". Maybe we share some secret common trait aside from both of us being prudes and pricks. Go bitches! Jesse keeps me company in the late hours since Justin stopped calling me. Company as in - he talks to me online until 5 a.m. I'd probably be pissed if Justin talked to some girl to such wee hours, but honestly, Jesse's a substitute for what I don't have, and he's perfectly aware of it. Jesse's not undateable or horribly afflicted, he's just sort of a "fill-in" boyfriend in the mentality department. I'd never date him or have feelings for him for that fact, but we talk and oddly say "I love you", which I feel very damn guilty about. It's meant, just not in the "I love you, kiss me, hold me, goodnight" context it is with Justin. Am I the only one who understand this situation and myself? All right, Jesse fills in for the lack of conversation and flirting that Justin doesn't quite grasp. This is pointless. Nikki called me today adn I hardly remember talking to her because I was half asleep. This is only a reminder to call her back. I wish Justin would call me or something, but I know he won't, sans it's 4 a.m. Sigh. I miss him. I'm a loser. We watched The Lost Boys tonight and I confessed my pre-teen love for Keifer Sutherland and Corey Haim to him. The only reason he wanted to watch the movie was because Death By Stereo got their name from a part in it. I watched it to make him happy. Plus, it's an all-time favorite of mine, so I didn't mind. We also got some honey barbeque wings from KFC, cause they're cool and got them back. We both pitched in and bought twenty and split them. He's the only person I'd ever eat those things with. I don't know why, but he is. We got in some sort of weird sexual argument where I called him a "fucking goddamn faggot". I have no problem with gay people and I'm aware faggot is an insulting homosexual term, but so what? I was pissed. Get over it. I proceeded to call him names regarding his homosexuality and guilt-tripped him into having sex with me, which hurt for some weird reason. And I also heard him mumble "You want it?", which made me smile inside. I'm weird and everyone's officially grossed out right now! Ha! And another thing, Justin has Male Jealousy Syndrome. The symptoms include not only forbidding the wear of fishnet stockings, because it makes girls look like whores, it also includes wearing panties, and probably sooner or later bras. I draw the line at wearing a bra. I hate that. Panties, okay, I can understand and I can deal. Fishnets, no, fuck that too, because I like them. He thinks some guy is gonna look up my skirt or want to have sex with me because he thinks I'm a whore and if either of the incidents occured the said, guy, would be a brutalized motherfucker. I miss Ashley Thompson. This is so unlike me, but I want to see that "White Chicks" movie. No matter how many times it's done black/white humor never gets old. Never. It might take us back a few years for being racist, but who gives a damn if it's funny. I smell Justin. |
