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eat me, bitches!
06.20.2004 | 11:42 pm I always hate starting these things off, because I haven't the slightest what to say. Now that I'm done with that, let's start with the fun stuff! Yesterday, I went with Justin to the metal show at the Underground. We walked around for awhile and talked to people. I hate when people refer to us as "y'all" or "you guys". We are seperate people, you bastards! Anyway, I found the Sad Sappy Sucker cd that I've been looking for. I got Adam to hold it for me until Tuesday and Justin's supposed to pick it up. The pigs showed up at some point and made a fuss about something - something about littering and cigarette butts. It was stupid and Max swept up the cigarette butts, because he's nice. After that, we all just stood around the garbage can and looked like bums, because no one wanted to throw a cigarette butt on the ground. Justin showed me a picture of Wayne and he looked exactly like Jason Lee. I almost peed myself. I had to pay $1 to go take a pee at Caffe Latte, because the toilet at the Underground is broke. The chick gave me a drink for a dollar (normally $1.5?) and let me pee for free. Strangeness occured after Clanton showed up. He brought his cousin Cliff, who happened to be an ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex- etc... of mine. He knew me back in the days of shy and innocent, which was about 4 years ago. He was prettier when I knew him, but he wasn't that pretty then. Why did I ever go out with him? Oh, yeah, the same reason I went out the with the other bajillion guys, I dated, or hooked up with. I was bored. He so got cheated on back then. Did I tell him? No. I didn't love him. I don't even remember him, or anything about him. God, I'm mean and I don't even give a damn. I wish Justin would call me, because I do like having conversations, not just making out and watching TV. We had a weird, but nice talk at Taco Bell tonight. I was happy at Taco Bell. Justin's never held a baby before, ever. He said that people who hold babies are caring, so I'm supposed to be a caring person and he's not... somehow, our personalities are the other way around. He's way more caring than I am. About some things. He thinks I'm anorexic or bulemic or some such thing. I get sick a lot when I eat and I do puke after almost every meal or snack, but it's not because I think I'm fat and have this weird, twisted image in my head about being skinny. It's because I get sick and have to do it or maybe I just subconsceiously do it. I don't know. It is starting to be a problem though, because I've been getting dizzy and weak. Mom's bugging me about going to the doctor for a complete check-up, but fuck that. I hate doctors and needles and all that medical bullshit. If something's wrong with me, it's karma, I'll get over it or die from it, either way, I'm fine! I've been really depressed lately, but I try hard not to let it show. Working? If I didn't try so hard to fake being happy all the time, I think I would be a lot happier than I really am. I was really happy tonight for a maximum or 15 minutes. Justin turned cartwheels and it just made me laugh so much. It was funny. He more or less hopped in mid-air, but it definitely wasn't a cartwheel. Then we made-out in the van. I can't take it, I swear. I need physical contact. Badly. I hate old habits. They're too damn hard to break. |
