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How stupid could I be?
06.17.2004 | 12:48 am Uh oh, I think somebody hates me. Do I care? Of course I do, but only if it can benefit me. I'm a user. I'll admit that. I ate Dip'n'Dots ice cream today and bought myself a crown, okay, tiara, but I'm still chipper about it. In an unexpected, but not entertaining turn of events, I ended up in Jackson with Justin and his parents today. It was pretty damn fun, if I must say so, and I do. I finally went to a Hot Topic, and despite the neon green fishnet shirt and Office Space t-shirt, the clothes pretty much whomp. I did buy my tiara (beams) and a few pins. They have a pretty kick ass collection of CD's too. Bummer they don't have a Hot Topic around here. The CD's are awesome oh, and that one poetry book I found. The pins are pretty though. I want to brag, so I'm going to tell you what they say. Don't tip me over, you freakin' hillbilly! - with a happy picture of a cow beside it. Somebody's got a case of the Monday's - Office Space Keep it real. - with an old school Nintendo controller on it. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup! - with a made up woman on the side I really just like the pretty pink blockquote things. Really. We looked around other places, but didn't really find anything we liked. It excited Justin to force me to ride the escalator, because I hate them. I hate elevators. I hate machines in general, because I do not trust them. They malfunction, I die, tragic, front-page story, the end. Anyway, we made fun of a lot of stuff and went to girlie stores, because well, I'm a girl, but that's okay, because Justin can find amusement in girlie stores too. He likes pretty things, what can I say? So, we did that. He bought me dip'n'dots and I gave him a kiss, because he's my hero. Two spoon clinks for dip'n'dots, yo. We went to FYE before we left and he bought the new Beastie Boys cd and I bought AP, wrapped neatly in plastic coating. Justin's weird about stuff in plastic wrap, he thinks it's special. I don't know, he was just being weird about it. It upset me. He got mad at me at some point for leaving him in a store by himself. He said I had some sort of "underlying reason" for doing it, and yeah, I did, but so? He got all dickish about it and started an argument. Actually, it just had to do with the whole, "this is a pointless and worthless" relationship thought. (go back like, 5 entries) I got pissed off in the membrain (aware of the mispelling) and just left. I wasn't going anywhere, maybe to a bench, or a food stand, because I was quite thirsty. I honestly had no intention and to be completely honest, i thought he was tagging along behind, because well, he usually does. Hm, we left and ate at some Chinese restaurant. I was hungry, but didn't eat anything. I did the anorexic thing where I just pick at my food and make it look like I ate something. I do that a lot when I'm not hungry. I felt bad for not eating, but I just felt sick. The place had pretty chandeliers and neon lights. The table was like some kind of painting. I felt bad for having my elbows on such a pretty picture. We went to Best Buy super-quick before they closed and I bought 2 Modest Mouse CD's and Justin's birthday present. I bought him the new Coheed and Cambria CD (No, I'm not worried about him reading this, because he already has it.) He's been wanting it, so I just bought it. I gave it to him while we were leaving the store. That's seriously his birthday present, minus the stuff I've already bought him, because, dammit, I'm officially broke. Anyway, back to me, I bought The Moon and Antarctica and The Lonesome, Crowded West. Who's happy? I'm happy. Why? You're an idiot if you don't know. I've been wearing this tiara ever since we left Jackson. It makes me feel pretty. I'm gonna wear it everywhere. I really am. I'm wearing it now, while I sit here, typing this in my froggie pj's. I love Justin madly and that's the first time I've said that in awhile and seriously felt that little "squishy" feeling in the bottom of my stomach. He makes me happy and as pathetic as it makes me sound, I'm afraid to lose him. I'm perfectly aware that I will one day, but maybe I'll have everything figured out by then. It'll still probably crush my heart, no doubt, but he can always be the one that got away, I guess. Miranda's happy folks, so you can relax and loosen the grip on your seats. The world's at peace. My mom thinks I'm an idiot for knowing about politics and for arguing with her about Bush. She says I need to grow up and stop worrying about "pointless politics" and I think she needs to "grow up" and start, because her stupid decision, like voting for him, could very well have a great impact on my future and the world's future, not America, the world. My dad, he's not the smartest man alive, granted, but he can still put up a challenging debate, my mom, no, she tells me I'm stupid and can't do anything about it. I'll show her, dammit. Okay, screw my mother and her political views, I'm happy and I'm in love and I need to go listen to 19 CD's, so I can listen to my new Modest Mouse. Freaks. We read AP on the way back home. It was nice. Oddly romantic, which is weird for normal people. Justin's intelect turns me on and when he starts making points and getting all serious about stuff - oh, I just want to pounce on him. I probably would have, save his parents riding shotgun and his kiss tasting like an onion with a vengence. I want to eat your brains and I don't think you'll complain. Sorry. This clogged up Diaryland server is pissing me the hell off, who's with me? |
